critter under the house

I am sitting here in the sun room (which I refer to as the yoga room) listening to a unknown critter squealing like a newborn piglet. I think it's under the house. I’m not sure how he/she/it got under there (we shall call it a “he” for the sake of this story since it apparently got lost and didn’t ask for directions). I am not sure how long HE has been under there but he is apparently very pissed off about it. I heard the squealing earlier today and thought it was birds on roof. I didn’t give it a second thought. I came in here to do some homework this evening and I heard the squealing sound. I thought maybe it was my son doing his very best fire engine sound, high pitched enough to call the dogs from a neighboring county. Upon further investigation, I find that the noise is not coming from the roof (or upstairs) but it was coming from beneath the floor boards. Let me take you back a few days ago.
It was very early AM, still dark outside. I just woke up. I went into the yoga room to open the blinds. I heard a knock at the door. I froze. I almost pee’d myself. In that moment, I was defenseless. I had no idea where the Louisville Slugger was and the gun safe was in the other room. I figured if I stood there very still whoever it was will go away, right? ::Knock knock knock knock::. The sound was not coming from the door but the side of the house. I got up the nerve to sneak over to the window and peek outside partly expecting a face to be staring back at me when I parted the blinds (I've seen too many scary movies). I don’t see anything or anyone. I quietly peek on the other side, nothing. I sneak out of the yoga room back into the house. As I turn to close the door the motion sensor light outside comes on. I run over to the window and still don’t see anyone. I go over to the side of the house where I had heard the noise and peek out, nothing. As I went to step away from the window I noticed that the mulch had been dug up in the flowerbed by the house. It wasn’t someone knocking, it was some..THING digging! OK ..back to the squealing pig.
The sound is so mind numbing that I couldn't get any work done.So I go over to investigate. I listen. I hear it scratching the floor and knocking into the support beams. Oh yes, and squealing the entire time. I put my ear to the floor. I hear its labored breathing and low slow moans in between squeals. It seems to be in distress. I feel as though I should run out into the ice/snow and try to lure him out the way he got in. As I listen to the floor I smell a funny smell.It possibly smelled of … s.k.u.n.k. Folks, I can not make this stuff up. I’m not that creative. I seriously hope Pepé Le Pew doesn’t die under the house. I have no idea what to do. I’m not going out there. Nooo way.I’ve seen these scenarios on Animal Planet. I go out and rescue the thing and it turns out to be a raccoon and it claws my eyes out, bites me and give me rabies. I could DIE. OK maybe I didn’t see that on Animal Planet but it could happen. Since school is canceled (again) tomorrow my husband is going to call the critter control hotline and see if they can help us out. I’ll keep you posted as this plays out.