critter under the house part II

I am sitting here at my desk in the nice, quiet, non-smelly, yoga room. That's right friends, the smell and its host are gone -more on that in a minute.  I was having a lot of back problems today so I decided to do some yoga before I settled in to get some homework done (it’s been put off for too long). Before I get started on my homework though I thought I’d break the news to you about the skunk. Well, you see, Mister Skunk got evicted yesterday. Let me recap the evening’s events.
After talking to my critter-busting co-worker, he had me convinced that I could save myself a big animal control bill if I trap the critter myself. So I believed him wholeheartedly. I mean why not? I am a capable human being.


So he brings in a trap and shows me how to set it. He explains that once you get one trapped you walk up on it slowly with the blanket in front of you and place the blanket over the trap. That way if he sprays at you, he sprays the blanket and not you. Good to know. He also tells me that skunks love (get ready) Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up. He tells me that it’s a sure thing. I believe him. Who am I to judge? Oatmeal cream pies it is.
On my way home I stop at the grocery store and pick up a box of skunk bait (oatmeal cream pies). By this point I have psyched myself up enough to just go back behind the house, set the trap and not think about it too much so as not to forget everything critter-dude told me. So that’s exactly what I did. It was also the first time I saw the hole it had dug to get under the house. I have no idea how he fit through there. I took a picture -->

I set the trap along the side of the house (note the window above the trap, this will be important later)  and place the goodies inside according to my co-workers instructions. Got it! It's all set and ready. I go inside, wash my hands feeling very proud of myself although I hadn't actually caught anything yet. We leave for dinner. We were gone maybe an hour and half. It's dark out. As we approach the house we could smell a horrible smell. The very strong smell of SKUNK. I thought to myself "Ohhh sh!t, what have I gotten myself into". Rather than run around the back of the house to check the trap, I ran into the house to peek out the yoga room window. The motion sensor light was on. I peeked through the blinds slowly. There it was, a skunk, sitting in the back of the trap eating an oatmeal pie. I did a private little fist pump, "Yes!" then it hit me "Ohhh no... now I have to go out there, pick it up and relocate it." Keep in mind, throughout this entire ordeal, my husband is standing back watching me like I'm some mad scientist. He's not stopping me but he doesn't want my creepy experiment to blow up in his direction either. I quietly explain to him (so the skunk doesn't hear my plan I suppose)  that we now have to somehow open the window very slowly without scaring him. However, Windows + Winter = Loud squeaking. A sudden sense of urgency flows over me to get him covered before his Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie is gone. Having him distracted by food was working in our favor. My husband watched him while I put the blanket shield up to protect me as I opened the window (see picture above to reference said window).  The wind was blowing the blanket back toward me, making it difficult to maneuver it through the now open window. I seriously did not have a plan B. This had to go right. Then, just like critter dude explained, I slowly placed the blanket over top of the trap and draped it over the sides without a single offensive odor being emitted. We all exhaled in unison.  I tell my husband to go get the truck and bundle up the tot because we are going on a field trip.
OK now what? I do not want to go out there and pick this thing up and have the blanket blow off while I walk around the house with it to put it in the truck. I get some bungee cords and link them together so they fit around the base of the cage to hold the blanket in place. I nervously pick up the cage and quickly carry him out to the front of the house towards the get-away vehicle which is now in position and occupied by my husband and son. I can see my son inside the truck staring out of the back window, probably thinking "Mom has lost her damn mind." I put the trap in the back of the truck without anyone getting skunked in the process. Another private fist pump celebration. Phase 1 complete.
We drive out to the country drop zone point and get out of the truck. We drop the tailgate. I climb into the back of the truck, pick up the blanket-covered trap and lower him down to the ground. Then it dawns on me that I have no idea how I am going to get the skunk out of the trap without getting sprayed. I have to leave the blanket on the trap so I can open the trap door but I have nothing to protect me once he runs out. My husband was occupied trying to keep my son in the car and out of the way. My son was a little scared at this point because it was pitch black outside save for the headlights of our vehicle.  Somehow, I find the courage to make the first attempt at opening the trap door but the door isn't staying open on its own as my co-worker showed me. It slams shut. I can't really see what I'm doing because the blanket is covering everything and, oh yeah, it’s the middle of the night. I'm afraid to poke my fingers around too much because I don't want to get bit. I try again. It’s a three step process: unlatch, bend back the hinged wall, pull the trap door up to lock it to the top of the trap. Its not locking!! SLAM. Spring loaded action. Each time I try this I can picture the thing trying to run under the partially open door, hitting my hand on the way out, getting pissed and spraying me before I can even shout out expletives. You guys, it took me at least 10 tries. I wanted to cry. The blanket was getting stuck between the cage and the latch. I was too chicken to raise the blanket and I couldn't really see what I was doing. My husband had absolutely no working knowledge of the trap in the first place. Like I said, I set it as soon as I got home so he didn't even know how it worked. He was standing there helpless. I kicked the snow a few times then came to the conclusion that there was no other alternative. I had to get him out. It had to be done...right now. So I grew some courage real quick and gave it another go. I held the blanket up to get it out of the way of the latch, I pulled the latch up, pushed the hinge down and raise the door up and just as I heard it click into place the skunk ran out into the darkness. It happened so fast and then it was over. He was free. More importantly, nobody got skunked. What a rush!
Today I put plastic bags in the hole the skunk had dug under the house. If anything leaves or enters the hole the bags will be moved and that's a pretty good sign we need to set the trap again.
My co-worker seems to think it was not stuck under the house, it was probably mating! If that is the case, there are at least two of them under there.  If I am right, and the little critter just got stuck under there for a while, then I can pack up the trap and not have to deal with it ever again.
Folks, as I sit here typing this, the motion sensor light just came on in the back. This is what I see

::Sigh:: Here we go again.