wasted

it seemed only appropriate for me to follow the "rehab" blogs with a blog titled "wasted" right?
My life this year has pretty much been an open book. It's safe to say that this year has been pretty stressful. In fact, if you scroll back through the older posts you can almost see the train wreck coming, its eerie. The '07 blogs were filled with funny stories about being a mom to my crazy tenacious child. The '08 blogs started pretty heavy. I wanted '08 to help me find my purpose in the world. I was tired of floundering and wanted a new direction. Little did I know that the new direction would take me off-roading on a tricycle. It is seriously amazing how much has changed in my life in just a year. It was a serious wake-up call if nothing else. When tragedy strikes it really forces you to take a serious inventory of yourself.
I feel over-exposed emotionally. I feel hypersensitive to everything around me. Everything seems transparent. In fact, this year has opened my mind up so completely that I didn't want to write about a lot of it because it was too raw. I had a hard time putting words around it and that, in and of itself, was a new experience for me.
Life is flying by and we aren't even guaranteed another second of it. I don't want to waste it. I don't want to be wasted, a casualty of circumstance. Its a harsh reflection to see yourself wasted or have someone else help you become wasted and fruitless.
So I will edit my personal mission statement...

to be continued in 2009