childhood pms

Morning time is usually pretty crazy. It's always a crap shoot as to what kind of mood my son will be in when he opens his little sleepy eyes. Thankfully, he woke up in a good mood this morning. He got dressed pretty quickly and even did a good job brushing his teeth by himself without losing focus and start trying to clean the sink with his tootbrush. He has become very accomplished at brushing his own teeth, I must say. However, something happened between the door to the house and the door to the car. He became a completely different kid once the car started moving. See for yourself!(I left our grammatical errors in tact).
Bear: "Mommy, is this our Army jeep?"
Mommy: "Yep"
Bear: "NO it's our fire car"
Mommy: "What makes it a fire car?"
Bear: "It has my firemens in it"
Mommy: "Oh, ok. Got it – good call"
Bear: "Mommy, what's a tornado?"
Mommy: "It's a big windy thing"
Bear: "No it's NOT! It's a big twisty thing"
Mommy: "Oh yeah! What was I thinking?"
Bear: "Mommy, why are we racing a concreter?"
Mommy: "We aren't racing it. We are following behind it"
Bear: "NO we aren't! He is ahead of us racing!!!"
Mommy: "Whatever, dude"
Bear: "Mommy…"
Mommy: "Bear, stop asking me questions if you are going to argue with me when I answer you. You aren't being very nice right now."
Bear: "Shhh, let me ask you something"
Mommy: "Are you going to be nice?"
Bear: "Yes"
Mommy: "Ok..go"
Bear: "Mommy, umm…." "Mommy…."
Mommy: "Yes, sir?"
Bear: "Is that storm damage?"
Mommy: "I can't see what you are talking about."
Bear: "OVER THERE, I said!!!!"
Mommy: "OK I am done talking with you. When you are ready to talk nice you just let me know"
Bear: "Mommy, please can I have to talk?"
Mommy: "OK..go"
Bear: "Is Nolan at school?"
Mommy: "No Bear, he doesn't go to your school anymore"
Bear: "YES...HE...DOES!!"
Mommy: ::sighs::
Bear: "Mommy, do I get TV tonight?"
Mommy: "If you can make it through the day without any 'reds'"
Bear: "So … I can't stand up?"
Mommy: "You have to listen to Miss Missy, whatever she tells you to do. She is the boss while Mommy is gone. Right?"
Bear: "If you don't listen to your boss than YOU don't get TV tonight!!!"
Mommy: "That's right" (oh boy…good thing I don't watch TV much anyway)
Bear: "…I don't want to go to school"
Mommy: "I know. I don't want to go to work either but I have to"
Bear: "Why"
Mommy: "Because 'y' is a crooked letter"
Bear: "No…it's...NOT!! It's like this ::does the sign for "Y" with his pinky and thumb::
Mommy: "VERY GOOD!!" ::Mommy gushes with pride::
Bear: "Why do we have to go to work and school?"
Mommy: "Because if I don't go to work we don't have money to buy race cars"
Bear: "OK"

::: s h e w :::